Ain’t we ALL women? when will we intersect?

I was inspired by bell hook’s literature and grew more interested in learning about the struggle Black women face. I cannot speak on their behalf, as their own experiences are as real as my own (in regards to racism and feminism). However, I realized that by including and intersecting, women can find commonalties in the similar yet different discriminatory experiences we face.

A friend of mine sent me this link, and I was shocked by how horribly Sara Baartman was treated. We hear that “white supremacy” is in the past, and we are beyond racism. Yet Baartman’s remains were only taken down from being a piece of art in 2002! That is 12 years ago!!!

What stood out to me from this clip is that Black women are not seen as just women, they face the sexism that Patriarchy brings forward and the racism from White Imperialism. In regards to Patriarchy, I noticed that many if not all types of women struggle with sexism, women are often portrayed as sex objects and we can all agree that general equality between men and women is far from achieved. I believe that part of the reason that we cannot achieve equality is because the term “equality for women”  or “rights of women” is catered to the needs of white women only.

According to her book  “Ain’t I a Woman”, “usually, when people talk about the strength of black women they are referring to the way in which they perceive black women coping with oppression. They ignore the reality that being strong in the face of oppression is not the same as overcoming oppression, that endurance is not to be confused with transformation”. 

Being a woman is a struggle, but being a minority woman is a whole new level of struggle. Minority women are not seen the same way white women are. We are not only discriminated against by men, but by the women who do not see us as a women with different struggles/opinions/values because it is different from their own.

I was told once by a French white woman “you are now in Quebec, you are free you can be like us”. I was always in Quebec, born and raised, so it is not NOW that I am in Quebec. I did not feel trapped to feel the sense of need to be free. I am me so why am I expected to be like you? Why “US”? is US better? why?

However, when we show we embrace our culture and our differences, we are no longer human beings with differences, we become a display. People become infatuated by this difference (which is not necessarily a good type of interest, as shown in clip on Baartman). When we are different, and people want to show they “accept us” it somehow gives them the entitlement that we are now objects and they can comment/criticize and even feel like they have the right to touch us.

This clip portrays how Black women are perceived in regards to their physical appearance. What their hair says about them, and how people seem to think they have the right to just touch it like its an exposition in a gallery. The clips, all on youtube, speaks for themselves.

Looking at how these women express their feelings, I hope that other women can find a way to relate and become allies (inclusion/intersectionality among women). While I cannot say I have a black hair, I can still understand and empathize with these women from a different perspective. As a veiled Muslim woman I live in fear that any individual would pull of my hijab, not because it has happened to me, but it has happened to many other Muslim women. Following the debate regarding the Quebec Charter of Values, founder of the “support another” campaign, Sama Al-Obaidy, shared her discriminatory experience.

“A lady came up and tried to remove my hijab forcefully,She told me my hijab and myself don’t belong in Quebec and after a few exchanges of words she decided to start pulling on my veil. As it started getting loose I had to eventually stop her,” she said.

The audacity that some people have is shocking. What gave the right to this woman to think she can not only touch Sama’s hijab but also entitled enough to even pull it off.

Minority women are not up for display, we want to embrace our differences without having to be starred at, looked down on, criticized, or even told that we look “exotic” or that “we could look normal”.

It’s intuitive.

A few days ago I added a short clip from the film “The Color of Fear”, here is the full version. While many points made in this film are significantly important, today I want to focus a scene that I never really realized I felt until I rewatched the film.

At 19:30 minutes, Loren (in the film) says “it’s like shark infested waters, it doesn’t have to be said, it can be felt. It’s an intuitive. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have to go through it.”

That is exactly it, it is INTUITIVE. This feeling of always being targeted, judged and belittled is a constant battle that I and many WoC face on a daily basis. I have always been aware of racism, and came about the concept of white privilege and white feminism during my studies. Throughout my learnings, and my own experiences with discrimination I seemed to always tell myself that this is just ONE other ignorant individual. I knew that being a Muslim woman wearing a hijab does not fit the mainstream image of what a woman should look and dress like, but I never realized how much I put effort into showing I AM NORMAL. And then finally, after media’s portrayal of Muslims, Post 9/11, cooled off a bit, I started to feel a bit safe and little more tolerated. I still longed for acceptance, but at least it was a step forward I guess. And then Quebec took a HUGE STEP BACK.

Quebec’s Charter of Values seeks to become a secular state by banning all religious symbols, for the sake of gender equality. This so called secularism, is supposedly showing no preference to one specific religion, so instead of INCLUDING all religions they decide to ban them in the public sector. To avoid discrimination. Yeah, okay.

       

This is where this INTUITIVE feeling becomes more emphasized. This whole Charter aims to avoid discrimination all while implementing a discriminatory ban that also opened room for people to express OUT LOUD their bigoted and narrow minded opinions. Ever since this Charter was introduced, I am afraid of taking the subway, the bus or even walking to school in downtown Montreal. I just feel eyes are starring at me as though I was prey for them to attack. I do not know how else to explain it, it is a strong feeling I have where I know I am not accepted, and even barely tolerated because people do not UNDERSTAND my hijab and nor do they look to learn about it in order to be open. Even though a physical or verbal attack has not happened to me personally, it has happened to many other Muslim women. So yeah, I am afraid of being next. 

    

Then the famous Janettes spoke out. White feminist women who believe that this Charter will contribute to gender equality. Therefore, banning women from wearing their hijabs- to then lose their jobs that they already worked HARD to get in the first place- is gender equality.

Just knowing that these women are out there, and that people like them exist, my intuitive feeling enhances. I recently had a discussion with a colleague, who I thought was an open minded woman. Naive of me. I thought that getting to know me and having the opportunity to ASK questions to a veiled woman (instead of relying on media to give false information) she would understand the struggles I have to face and accept my hijab. Naive I was indeed. Not only did she tell me she was for the Charter, but she tells me that I SHOULDN’T FEEL LIKE A TARGET  (even though this Charter’s focus has become the ban of the hijab) and the Quebec is not racist (even though there is evidence that proves otherwise) , she told me I was PARANOID.

I was paranoid for feeling that this Charter was targeting me and women who look just like me. She then went on to saying that “we even accepted Black people, yeah some racism happened but we are open”. SOME? Some racism? Slavery ring a bell? Does putting Native people on a reserve sound familiar? Quebec NEEDS us, they NEED diversity to be able to function as a society. They needed immigrants to settle, and differences were “tolerated” through the Reasonable Accommodations. Quebec was functioning even with its diversity, people say “Montreal is so multicultural, we are open minded people”. And yet I have not seen/heard as much hate and have never felt so much shame in Quebec until this Charter business. The amount of ignorant and racist comments/slurs online is disgusting and shameful. Why? Because individuals who do not fit the “norm” have been given some leeway in using their fundamental right of “freedom of expression”. The irony.

 if you do not fit this mould then 

“Secular state”  by EXCLUDING INDIVIDUALS.

“Gender equality” by FIRING MORE FEMALES WHO HAD TO WORK TWICE AS A HARD AS A WHITE FEMALE. These Janettes and white feminists who claim they are fed up with “oppressed Muslim women” and want to save us, and want to fight for all WoC by excluding them are just an embarrassment to the notion of feminism. These white feminist, use their white privilege to STEP ON minority women and men to be able to bring themselves higher. 

Then there are those who claim they understand the struggles of minority women, because they wore the hijab for one day or have been discriminated against once in their life. YOU STILL DON’T GET IT, BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ON A DAILY BASIS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR COLOR, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR CLOTHING, OR HOW OTHER WOMEN WILL JUDGE YOU.

But while I still appreciate you TRYING to understand, do not claim that YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS, because you don’t. Instead of trying to be the one who saves me, how about actually LISTENING TO MY STRUGGLES and BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE REAL. Do not belittle or minimize them, call me paranoid and blame me for the problem YOU keep causing.

The Color of Fear Clip

“it’ll all be fine when we treat each other like human beings, and what that says to me is ‘don’t be yourself, be like me, keep me comfortable, connect when I’m ready to connect, come out to my place, or maybe I’ll come down and get some artifact from your place” -Victor 

The Color of Fear, is an excellent film that address racism, white privilege, power and interminority racism. I highly suggest this film to be watched, and not once but a few times. I have seen this film about five times already, and every time I notice something new I can relate to, something that is still occurring in today’s society, or something I may be doing and was not aware of it.

Do not fear ignorance, for it fears your courage.

I have been working at  a shelter for homeless women and women in difficulty, for a year now. Throughout the year, I carefully observed how women interacted with each other. Now, while they all have been or still are struggling in their life, their experiences remain different. Each woman comes to the house with a different problem. Even if some issues/concerns are similar, the way they experience it will remain different. The way we feel about our experiences, the way our experiences make us feel, is our OWN. With that said, there is no cookie cutter for these types of matters.

Relating this back to the concept of “white feminism”, or even feminism and racism, I noticed how even though some women are going through similar experiences, there can still be a lack of empathy. I remember this one day, where a white female client made a comment  to the intervention workers “you always give more to the Native women, what about me? I am still struggling too.” While I can understand her frustration, and in no way do I mean to demean her struggles, what this woman is not aware of is her “white privilege”. The fact that she is white and looks white, people treat her differently. Her status will protect her from the stereotypes against women in difficulty/homeless women. While these Native women are limited due to the stereotypes associated with Natives (drunks, lazy, uneducated…). I have heard these comments, I have seen it with my own eyes as people walk down the street or the subway and homeless Native women are there.

When I first started working at the shelter, I was worried. Even though I am a woman, and I am working with women. My hijab still makes me look DIFFERENT. I was afraid that the women will not trust me, avoid me, not want to share their struggles with me, do not consider me qualified to be a crisis worker? So many thoughts ran through my head. My first experience of discrimination that occurred at the shelter was with a white female, who was not able to see past the stereotypes against Muslim women. She saw me a threat, refused to be serviced by me or even look me in the eye. I felt horrible, I felt like I WAS NOT QUALIFIED. I felt that I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH to HELP other women. It hurt me, because I know I am more than those stereotypes, which I do not even FIT with. It upset me, I tried to show her who I was, and connect with her. And then it dawned on me, why did I have to try hard? Why did I have to work harder to her approval? while all the other workers did not have to. What if I was a white Muslim woman? Would I be treated the same? What if I was a Black Muslim woman? Would I be treated worse? Or was it merely the hijab? These are all questions I still need answers to.

Fortunately, I work with an excellent team who have shown nothing but support, they stood up for me when and if ever a client has made a comment. However, my experience has also been outstanding. I realized that my fears were based on the fact that I was afraid of ignorance, but my fear is only a barrier. To be able to break ignorance, my role is to address it. And so I did. When a client asked me about my hijab, or where I am from, I answer and I explain and raise awareness. One of my clients when on debate with me regarding Quebec’s Charter of Values, and shared her assumptions. By being open about my hijab, my experiences and how I feel about my role as a woman, I able to get to her, I was able to have her understand me and be an ally.

So many women, especially WoC, have shown so much support. They come and tell me how proud they are of me, how they respect my choice of hijab, they share how they love how colour coordinated I am with my hijab 🙂 Some even went to the protests against the Charter to show their support. It has been such a heartwarming experience.

Women need to stand together, not against each other. Do not lose hope, break the ignorance do not fear it.

I –